Miss Birch

Pardon my alliteration -
but I find it asinine
that assholes will try to
mentally assassinate those
merely on the ascent towards
the height of their aspirations,
with their acerbic tongues spitting
acidic soul-splitting thoughts.
And (as I shift to a more assonant verse)
I know that to be cursed while working
hard with a true purpose
hurts. But, for what it's worth
I get curt with these types
Who often end up quite hurt
For if you aim to drag my spirit through the dirt
you must first be prepared for
the caliber and the might of Miss Birch.
© 2007 Patricia B.

******
I think it's funny how this poem was actually inspired by my "10 Second Interview" application on Facebook, which had a question that said, "Pardon my_______."

This morning.

Woke up to the radio at 8:10.
"Shit - I'm supposed to leave at 8:15!"
(Clearly, that didn't happen.)
Thought about calling out for work today.
Commenced with the quickest shower in my life.
Pulled my curly-frizzy-dry 'fro in a ponytail holder.
Slapped on a headband to keep the short hairs in front from sticking out.
(It didn't work. It still is sticking up past the headband.)
Realized: My hair has grown.
Fumbled with my contacts.
Gave up on my contacts.
Found my glasses - on the floor.
(Why were my glasses on the floor?!)
White cardigan, lavender tank, black capris and black flats.
Ivory and mother of pearl/gold bangles.
Watch and two white gold rings.
Nose ring. Cubic zirconia studs in my ears.
Paused: how did I manage to rush and still look so cute?
I seriously took 20 minutes.
I seriously RAN out of my house - without my cell phone.
(Damnit!)
I pushed past my neighbor as I ran down the steps of the train station.
I loved her dress!
(She always looks so cute.)
I held the train door for her and some other people.
I stood the entire train ride.
Read: "If we ignore everything around us... we'll miss the coincidences
and synchronicities that signal where we are to go..."*
I moved towards the train door before I got to my stop.
MO: Be as close to the train door as possible before getting to Brooklyn Bridge.
I became aware of a girl whose face I recognized,
Who stared at me and looked at her friend - who I also recognized.
They chatted. She looked at me. The friend laughed.
I pretended to ignore it.
I had a moment of insecurity.
(What were they laughing at? My outfit? My glasses?
My hair? My size? What?)
Announced: "The time now is 9:07 AM"
I got to the office at 9:10.
No one was there to notice how late I was.
(Doesn't matter. I'm usually 10 minutes late.)
© 2007 Patricia B.

*Caroline Myss, "Invisible Acts of Power: Channeling Grace in Your Everyday Life."

In case you didn't know...

I'm a nerd
I'm a logophile
I'm a metaphor
I'm a mess
I'm a hot mess
I'm a hottie
I'm a hater
I'm a lover
I'm a loved one
I'm a friend
I'm a dream come true
I'm a beauty queen
I'm a pauper
I'm a knot of tension
I'm a de-stressor
I'm an itch
I'm a scratch
I'm a Jamaican
I'm a American
I'm a yankee pickney
I'm a noble's daughter
I'm an auntie
I'm an auntie-monster
I'm a sister
I'm a story
I'm an exposition
I'm an inscription
I'm a prescription
I'm a curative
I'm a curly 'fro
I'm a cutie
I'm an eye-sore
I'm an Isis
I'm a piece of work
I'm a work of peace
I'm a work in progress
I'm a jewel
I'm an outfit
I'm a pair of shoes
I'm an ensemble
I'm a medley
I'm a melody
I'm a song stuck in your mind
I'm a socioeconomic unit
I'm a student
I'm a studier
I'm a success
I'm a chick from the 'hood
I'm a fatty girl
I'm a pair of eyes
I'm a set of lips
I'm a pair of breasts
I'm a beating heart
I'm a twisted mind
I'm a brilliant soul
I'm an ingenue
I'm a procrastinator
I'm a motivator
I'm an inspiration
I'm an aspiration
I'm a climax
I'm an orgasm
I'm a release
I'm a relief
I'm a belief
I'm a hope
I'm a dream
I'm a voice
I'm a whisper
I'm a shout
I'm a reflection of He who sustains me.