Lacking the words.

The way you make me feel defies the English language.
I'm not in love with you, yet, I find to say "I like you"
greatly understates just how I feel.
Emotions and feelings are not neat and tidy things I guess
and thus probably shouldn't fit so neatly into categories -
And so I can't be surprised to find that
My vocabulary is lacking and dictionaries have been no help.
Great writers - greater than I - have written on emotion
and they too, I've found, haven't found the words that
quite capture the quality of emotion that I feel for you.
Maybe it's because you and I, unique beings we are,
have managed to have a connection that has followed suit.
A unique situation has lead to a common problem however -
Because I know I'm not the first and I won't be the last -
To hold on to my feelings for way too long,
But it's simply because I can't find the words.

(Ok, so maybe it's not that simple.)

© 2008 Patricia B.

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So here's the thing about my life at this present moment:
1- I haven't written anything decent in months and I've been feeling the effects of that.
2- My life has been COMPLETELY overtaken by the bar exam! It's like a completely overbearing and demanding boyfriend/husband/child - it needs constant attention - it's somewhat abusive and it's definitely controlling.

I was talking to a friend recently about ambition and she told me about an interview she saw with Madonna once. Apparently, when the interviewer asked Madonna about ambition, her response was something to the effect of "If not doing it wouldn't make you die - then don't do it."

Since my convo with my friend I've been thinking about my goals - especially in light of what I'm currently undertaking - and I know that while doing everything it will take for me to be a licensed attorney is what's right for me according to the Madonna standard - writing is just as right. And I've missed it - hence the above poem which I had the urge to jot down as I woke up this morning. There are some things that have to be said - some words that just need to be written down - for better or for worse.